homesick

[As posted last May 22, 2010 on Tumblr]



just as i thought that i am ready, yet i am still not…

november 2008. a month before ipe and i got married (i was 5 months pregnant then), we decided to move out of our parents’ house and got an apartment [in mandaluyong]. everything went well as we were very excited living on our own, did things together freely and without hesitation and knowing that we are building a new family. but on almost every night of these days, with ipe already asleep and maybe already dreaming, i find myself crying. i’ve never felt this way before. even during the time when i tried for the first time to move out of the house and lived with my office mates in one apartment (this was i think around 2006 - 2007), i never cried even for a day because of homesickness neither felt homesickness at all during that time. it was really a new and different feeling for me. my husband would wake up and assure me that everything is going to be fine, then he would hug me. that [feeling] went for almost four months. but then i am very thankful to have him [my husband] by my side. i am also thankful to my family who’s always been there specially during my pregnancy, and to lessen the feeling of being home sick, my husband would offer to bring me to my parent’s house during weekends and my days off then sometimes my sisters and my parents would come to our apartment for movie marathons or even just for lunch or dinner and a little chat.